Portfolio

Matthew G

Dr. deGravelles

Block 1

17 April, 2013

Cover Letter 

            I do not like writing. This feeling is so strong that I wrote my literacy narrative about it specifically. But this year my ideas about writing have changed just a little. I have found throughout the course of the year that I have gradually begun to have different feelings when I have to write. At some points I actually enjoyed writing! I think that this portfolio assignment has really solidified this idea in my head because it made me look back on the year as a whole and allowed me to see that I didn’t have any terrible experiences with writing (I normally have at least one.) I think that I have definitely become a stronger writer this year and have grown in other ways as well.

            For my portfolio assignments I started off trying to think of the high points of the year with the hits and misses assignment. I can say that my literacy narrative may have been the best piece of writing I have ever done because I felt like I mastered the whole concept of what it was to entail. I also thought that the poem blog that I wrote was a hit because I thought that my final poem was very good and felt proud of it. It was definitely my best blog of the year in my mind.

            As for my misses I felt like my research paper was not a total miss, but was not on point and is a miss. I also think that my free blog post about hunting was a miss because it was not thought out at all and did not have anything substantial in it. I was not very focused on it and I just did not make it a good post. These are my only real misses that I can think of. My research paper dragged a little bit and I needed to follow my outline a lot closer and not talk so much on one topic. I just did not have a good feeling about my research paper as a whole so that is why it is a miss.

            I also picked my research paper to revise for some of these same reasons. I felt that I could improve it and got some excellent help and ideas for revision from my visit to the writing center. I decided to revise this paper for voice and word choice because these were my weakest areas in this paper and I received multiple comments on these two traits of writing. For voice I had trouble with the formality of the paper and I slipped into first person a few times. There were also a few formatting things that will be fixed in my bibliography. My word choice issues were really issues in the ways I used words and I used some contractions when I should not have. I fixed that issue and made better word choice overall to make the paper overall better expressed.

            For my transformation project I chose to transform my poem on my blog into a commercial. I used my little brother, which the poem is about, as a base to create a toy that I advertise in the commercial. I still keep my repetition going and also use the content of my poem as features of the toy. It is a new genre that is aimed at a younger audience and instead of a boring poem it is a fun toy and it is also a film instead of written. These changes in medium work well to convey the same general message though they are very different.

            I am a writer that adds very vivid detail and also researches pretty well. I still do not like writing, but I also do not hate it as I have in the past. I have grown in this way and also feel like I am putting more quantity on a page faster than I used to. I have found that this is extremely helpful as I get longer assignments with page minimums and I am also noticing that I am getting better at the nuances of grammar and other conventional things.  I do not use the best word choice to express what I am trying to say, and might need to work on vocabulary to improve this area. I also have a tendency to use the same words over and over again in a single paper once I use the word once and this is something that I can fix by reading over my paper with a thesaurus once I think I’m done with it. I think that I am a pretty good writer that still has a lot of room to improve and make my writing stronger. If I have to write, I might as well be the best I can be at it.

Hits:

Literacy Narrative

Blog post called "My Favorite" I call him Gizz.

Born five years ago
He is my favorite

He is small, cute, fun,
annoying, whiny, and mean.
He is my favorite

My brother of less years than many trees
His mind like buzzing bees
He is my favorite

He has done many things,
like running free
flying without wings
He is my favorite

William Garrett
The greatest Gizzard of all
He is my favorite

I used repetition throughout the poem of one line. I also used end rhyme mixed in there a little bit. I used a little bit of alliteration in the last stanza, and also have a little bit of enjambment.

Misses: Research Paper

Free Blog post about hunting   Hunting is one of my favorite things to do and unfortunately the season is coming to a close. I hunt in Mississippi near Woodville and I am mostly a deer hunter. My final weekend is coming up, but sadly I won't be able to go because my dad is working. This kind of sucks because I didn't kill a buck this year. That's not really a big deal, but I was really itching to get one last weekend and I wasn't able to.

       I had a good year I guess. I killed a few does and my new 30-06 (a type of gun) was dead on all year. We were able to do a bit more duck hunting at our camp as well this year, even though the water was a little high. I also enjoyed being able to explore some new areas that we hadn't really hunted before this year. We killed some deer from some different stands and instead of being mostly on box stands as my dad and I had been on for the past few years, we were able to get up in the woods more and try a relatively different kind of hunting. Overall it was a pretty good hunting season and hopefully I'll get a buck next year.

Transformation

Rhetorical Situation Analysis

            The audience for my transformation project is the public and anyone who watches television commercials. The commercial is specifically aimed at younger kids because it advertises a toy. I chose this audience because I felt like it was a natural choice because of the topic of my original poem was my little brother who is 5. The audience of the original poem was our class and a more private audience of our class. This is the big change in audience in my transformation.

The audience of my commercial gets the gist of my product and how to get it and that is what they need to know. I am telling them about my toy in hope that they will buy it. This purpose is perfect for a toy because many toy companies advertise their products and that’s what I’m doing. The change between the blog and this commercial is from wanting people to know about my little brother to an ad that is trying to get people to buy a toy and this is a pretty big shift.

            In my commercial I am looking at the topic of my little brother as a sort of subtext to the main idea, which is a toy being sold. I have the approach of someone in a business point of view looking to sell my product and I convey it through telling people the good qualities of the toy and giving information on how to buy it. My stance is pretty much the same, but conveyed differently in that I am still talking about how my little brother is my favorite person, but I use the toy to represent him and reach the stance through a very different pathway.

            My new genre of a commercial and advertisement is one good way that I reach my audience and the use of film instead of writing is another. The advertisements biggest new feature is the use of film. I use the new strategy of advertising a product which is much different than my original poem in my blog. Many design elements in the film like the use of physical props and other things make it much different than my original medium and genre because the original was just writing. Overall I think that my transformation is a good change to the piece and gives it some new ways of looking at this topic of my little brother.

Paper Revision

Matthew G

Dr. deGravelles

Block 1

20 February, 2013

Planes and World War II

            World War II was a launching point for many technologies because it involved such large scale fighting and a worldwide race to find the greatest fighting technology. This was the first of the more modern wars and used many advanced technologies in it. This war brought on the development of the atomic bomb, which was so powerful that it ended the war in two strikes. The first jet fighters were developed because of World War II. Radar and bombsights were utilized to their full potential. Planes and many technologies involving them were developed for and used in World War II. World War II occurred on a very broad stage and these advancements were all used effectively in the war and had significant impacts, which shows just how important they were.

            The evolution of planes and aircraft technologies played a large role in World War II. Planes were one of the key tools of the war that significantly changed the way warfare was conducted and determined which new war tactics and strategies were utilized. The article titled  “Air Warfare” explains how aircraft were crucial to the war because they allowed the allies to conquer the Japanese. The lack of a true invasion in this defeat showed that wars could be settled by aerial fighting in the future. This shows the substantial impact that these technologies and advancements had on the war and how they truly have changed warfare forever. This evolution of technologies allowed for aerial combat to be the main factor in the outcome of the war and ultimately allowed the Allies to win the war as they had the greater aerial technologies. These technologies that involve planes and aerial warfare developed over time and made huge strides during the war.

            The development of planes and their technologies was greatly enhanced because of World War II, but planes were also used in limited roles during World War I. These early planes were not really a factor because they were not as powerful as the planes used during World War II and weren’t a major focus of the countries involved. Thomas Forsyth, an authority on the topic of military history talks about how “Most World War I aircraft had been biplanes covered with linen…Changes after [World War I] included the introduction of monoplanes, all-metal fuselages, and far more powerful engines,” in his article about military aircraft. These advances are a great example of the drastic changes in technology that happened in between the two wars and shows how powerful these planes became and why they were so useful in the Second World War.

            Other advancements during and after World War I included many experimental tests of new technologies, especially involving planes. One of these technologies was the guided missile. The article “Guided Missiles” talks about how, “Before World War II guided missiles were limited to experimental, pilotless aircraft controlled by radio.” This is an example of some of the prototypes that ultimately led to the further development and use of guided missiles during World War II by the Germans. This pattern of rushed development during World War II occurred with multiple technologies in between the wars and was very common. Many technologies such as bombsights, radar, and others were experimentally tested during World War I or between the wars and then put into action during World War II after more research and development. These improved planes and aerial weapons were really what were used during the war and also were the basis for any changes or new developments that occurred during the war itself.

            The necessity for better technology led to a sense of competition between the countries involved to see which one would come up with the best weapon or plane which could, in turn, determine the outcome of the war. This sense of competitiveness led to creative thinking and is what drove the development of many outstanding aircraft during the war. The U.S used many fighters over the course of the war, but the P-51 was by far the most influential because it overtook many of the foreign planes that had formerly outmaneuvered American and Allied fighters like the Kitty Hawk and ones before. Forsyth explains why the P-51 was so important when he says, “The premier U.S. fighter was the North American P-51 Mustang, which first flew in 1940. The British replaced its Allison engine with a Rolls-Royce engine, and the resulting aircraft outperformed all other piston-engine fighters in the European theater of operations. It may have been the best fighter aircraft of [World War II].” This quote comes from a leader in the field of military history and because of that it speaks volumes of the P-51 and how important it was in the war. The intriguing thing about this aircraft is what made it such an outstanding fighter aircraft. The P-51 had a Rolls-Royce engine, which is a very powerful car engine, instead of a standard plane engine of the time. The extra power from this engine and the capacity of the plane to travel longer distances than earlier fighters enabled them to be utilized later in the war to escort bombers deep into German territory and still make effective bombing runs (“Air Warfare”). Although it may not have been the best fighter in the war considering that the Germans used jet fighters when the war was nearly over, this fighter was most certainly the best as far as its use and workload in the war itself. This fighter was a key for the Allies and was one of the best planes in the war.

            Radar was another one of the many advanced technologies that were developed and used during World War II. Radar was used by most of the countries involved in the war and in a presentation by Sean Foley there is an explanation of radar: “Radar was a technology that allowed land bases to detect incoming aircraft and direct their anti-air defenses in the direction of the incoming aircraft. Radar was also used in an offensive strategy by giving aircraft the ability to attack targets at night and during inclement weather.” These multiple uses were implemented by most of the countries during the war in either role, offensive or defensive, and were very effective. This technology was unseen before and when it was developed it revolutionized aerial attacks. The capability of aircraft to operate effectively at nearly any time was a great advantage to many countries, but radar also helped many countries to protect against these kinds of attacks by seeing the planes on their own radar. In Foley’s presentation, he explains how radar nearly helped to avoid the attack on Pearl Harbor because it actually detected the Japanese planes before the attack happened. The report of the detection wasn’t acted on, so the attack ultimately occurred anyway. This example gives us insight into the necessity of radar to these different strategies and also shows how effective it was and could’ve been during the war. It also, however, gives us the idea that you need good operators in order to use radar in an effective way. Many countries used radar to detect planes or other weapons around them and if a military base or other target didn’t have detection radar it was very prone to attacks during the night by aircraft with fire control radar, which helped to target ground and air targets using radar when you couldn’t see them well.  

           While we may look at this subject objectively, the pilots who used these technologies knew that aerial warfare was intense when it was in action. They realized the real-world implications that one of these technologies failing, or not being the best, could create. These pilots played a big role in the war as well because the planes and technologies are not very useful if the people operating them are not trained well and prepared. Pilots helped the scientists make the changes in design and weaponry by sharing what they learned from actual experiences during battle. The combat during the war was centered around an overall plan of attack and very scary for the pilots sometimes, but they had to accomplish their task, which would help to accomplish a mission or tactic, which would, ultimately, impact the outcome of the war. This excerpt from pilot Charles Yeager’s report of being shot down gives a good look at this real combat: “I snap-rolled with the rudder and jumped at 18,000 feet. I took off my dinghy-pack, oxygen mask, and helmet in the air; and then, as I was whirling on my back and began to feel dizzy, I pulled the ripcord at 8,000 feet. An FW 190 dove at me, but when he was about 2,000 yards from me a P51 came in on his tail and blew him to pieces.” This idea of having to jump from this high and being so out of control and scared is crazy. It gives a very good sense of what someone who was doing this was thinking and helps to create a real image of aerial warfare instead of just talking about it.  The new technologies implemented during the war were important facets of the war, but the pilots ultimately put these things to use and the developments in weaponry were tailored to fit their needs. The training and skill of pilots and soldiers ultimately is what put the U.S. and the Allies over the top. Their skill and superior training allowed for the best use of these technologies, which would win battles and ultimately the war.

            Planes were a key component in World War II. They allowed for new tactics to be used and the evolution of the aircraft themselves and the technologies involved with them changed warfare forever. The P-51 and the Kitty Hawk are a few of the great planes that allowed for the Allies to ultimately win the war along with the new technologies used like radar and bombsights. These all changed the way the war was fought by allowing for new strategies like night attacks with radar and others. It also created the new aspect of aerial warfare that was and is now the future of war. 

I chose to revise my research paper for voice and word choice because they were my tow lowest rubric scores and I got the most comments on these two traits of writing. My writing center meeting went very well. I got lots of feedback on how to make sure I stayed in formal voice and also how to make my word choice better by trying to think of a different way to say some things. I had Mrs. Spaht as my writing fellow which helped me a lot. I  also made sure I hammered out the last few format details with her for my bibliography. I approached my revision for voice by trying to stay formal throughout the paper and not slipping into first person. For word choice I tried to sound more formal overall and use better words where certain things weren't clear.